Remembering Bereaved Parents and highlighting our Strong Moms Peer Support Group

By this time last year, we had completed our first bereaved moms support group, gathered for a park picnic with other support groups, and snuck away a couple evenings to Cream City Ice Cream and Coffee House. Misty Heitman, a dear friend of Heart of the Cumberland approached me in late January of 2019. Misty, along with her husband and five of their children joined a grief peer support group in the fall of 2017. While the family received support during the groups that year, Misty was still looking for something more. She asked if there was a way that a group could be formed specifically for bereaved moms.

Our bereaved mom’s group is now called Strong Moms because these ladies are the bravest people that I know. This is the group for which no one really wants to become a member, although each mom will tell you they are thankful it exists. (This statement was derived from a conversation during one of our meetings.) I can remember when we gathered for the first meeting, someone immediately spoke up and asked a question. She asked, “I just need to find out something. Does anybody have ringing in their ears?”. Shortly after the question several ladies responded they too had ringing (tinnitus), which can be associated with stresses such as grief, although none of us knew this at the time. Since then there have been countless ways each have helped the other navigate through the loss of their precious children.

I remember telling my husband, Lito, the night before we were to meet that I felt so inadequate being the lead facilitator for a bereaved mom’s group. I prayed and asked God to help me minister to the needs that would be there, and He has been so very faithful. You can be assured something is from God when it is bigger than you are, but the door keeps opening anyway. While I still feel inadequate, Strong Moms continue to work through very difficult places of grief. It is each of them who helps the other.

“I never imagined grief to be so fluid, like a tide that recedes but can then come crashing down on you and knock you sideways.” This was written by Christine Tester a guest blogger for Hand to Hold, helping families experiencing NICU and infant loss.

“Of all the things I’ve tried to help with the loss of my 17 year old daughter, this group has helped me the most.” This was written by one of our own moms.

“We have had so many losses, even after our son’s accident. We are so thankful we can attend more than one season.” This is from a couple who attended with us for over a year. (Strangers quickly become family.)

We are grateful to offer a place for Strong Moms. We would like to do the same for the dads. It is often said that men have a hard time opening up about their feelings. Bereaved dads join our men’s group some of the time, and we would like to offer a group specific for them in the future. We welcome bereaved dads to think about joining just like the moms have done. I know the Lord will provide a way. He has done so time after time at Heart of the Cumberland.

We are planning to offer devotional summer grief support groups beginning Tuesdays, from 6pm – 7pm, July 21 through August 25. Afterwards, we plan to offer our 11-week fall journal groups beginning Tuesdays, September 8 thru November 16. During the holidays, we plan to offer another devotional group beginning Tuesdays, December 1 thru January 19, 2021. All of our groups are free of charge. I do not pretend to know the pain of losing a child. Only those who have suffered in this way truly understand. We will do our best to create a safe place for you to grieve and find others who can relate to the loss you have experienced.

All our groups are volunteer lead by at least two trained facilitators. Groups are available for bereaved parents, bereaved individuals, widows and widowers. We are also offering groups for those who were directly affected by the March 3 tornado. Childcare is available.

As we navigate through the COVID-19 crisis, it is very helpful to know those who may be interested as far in advance as possible to accommodate everyone as well as practice social distancing. We welcome anyone to call our office at (931) 525-2600, or visit our website, www.heartofthecumberland.org to answer any questions and/or register for a peer support group.

Written by: Kim Mendoza, Community Groups Program Manager

July Is Bereaved Parents Month